Saint’s Alp Teahouse

If you’re going to make saintly references to teahouses, you might as well serve drinks that are so heavenly, people would squeal, “Holy cow, I love it!” in delight. Saint’s Alp Teahouse at 2F Regis Center, Katipunan didn’t get us close to squealing, isn’t situated on a snowy hilltop or is even close to one and is far from heavenly as far as taste goes. We might as well call it Mortal’s Alp, though this particular mortal will think twice before coming back.

So to answer a potential question: No, I don’t suppose Saints congregate and have tea at this place. I surely didn’t see one when I went there. They’re afraid that if they do linger, they’d choke on the tapioca pearls and become mortals again.

(L) Green Tea with Milk and (R) Oreo Milk Tea

The Green Tea with Milk (Regular P105) came with tapioca pearls voluminous enough to clog my esophagus. The milk tea’s sweetness was on the median side, but tasted more like jasmine. I sprinkled a bit of Matcha powder on top, with the hope of bringing out more green tea flavor, but it turned to jelly the moment it hit the liquid. I ended up having messy green residue that wouldn’t stick to the straw and tapioca pearls that I wished the Saints had never invented. The Oreo (Black) Milk Tea (Regular P115) obviously tasted like oreo, barely the tea. The pearls have a way of hogging the spotlight from the oreo bits, which is a really a nuisance especially for the oreo lover. And I admit, the place doesn’t offer pudding, the only add-on I recognize, so my bias is sure to reach the heavens.

Saint’s Alp veers away from the common milk tea trend by 1) Offering unusual add-ons such as agar and wheat germ, but not my favorite pudding, 2) Having no customizable sugar/ice settings, 3) Serving drinks in real glasses (making me Mother Earth’s killer having opted for a plastic cup), and 4) Displaying an extensive selection that includes breakfast, salad, toast, rice, milkshakes in its vast menu with font not-made-to-be-read by the near-sighted.

On a Saturday afternoon, the place was half full with a reasonable turnover of wi-fi seeking and chatty youngsters, who seemed to love their pearls as much as their highlights and gadgets. Good for them. With other milk tea places closer to home and at the malls – cheaper and provide a more delightful experience – I don’t suppose I’ll be climbing this Alp again soon. Unless you call it something more relatable and appropriate, like Mortal’s Mountain or Cat’s Alp.

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