One of the perks of being an adult is the freedom of having breakfast for dinner—and not paying the price by sitting in the corner for missing out on the other horrid food groups. Pancakes, oatmeal—heck, even ice cream—eat whatever you like—no one’s going to jail for that, unless of course you get from my plate.
And so that was the plan, IHOP (BGC) pancakes and eggs for dinner as we watch the fading sun. Getting wasted on cream was an expectation, as part of our pre-football game tradition. Walking it off, maybe. Maybe not.
However getting creamed was more like it.
The Chocolate Chocolate Chip Pancakes (2) were supposed to be dessert-and-dinner-in-one chocolate fantasy but regrettably turned out to be a mass of flour fury. Lackluster, powdery and extremely out of shape, it seemed like a practice batter out of my own kitchen, and believe me, I’ve made better pancakes despite my propensity to burn pans. It was a torturous lump to finish, and it did not help that the globs of syrup on the side held at least 100 calories per fl. oz. of serving.
I don’t suppose I will be dreaming of chocolate anytime soon. The chocolate bakemono perhaps.
The CINN-A-STACK was the opposite, flavor-wise, with a maximum amount of sweetness, but sans the fluff factor; it was a gigantic and dry cinnamon flat-scuit. Is the IHOP kitchen experiencing drought which has led to the desert attribute of its pancakes? The powder quality is impeccable and consistent, it makes me wonder why Aunt Jemima can’t share her secret with the international trade.
The New York Cheesecake Pancakes ought to be the bestseller and captured my interest the very first time I heard IHOP in Manila. Drought has conquered this dish too, not to mention the deficiency in the cheesecake (what monstrosity). With nothing left but batter and flour, this super ordinary dish topped with 3 sad looking strawberries deserves entry in the to-go bag.
Nothing I do can give life to those strawberries again. IHOP just killed them and they will find better peace in my stomach.
As for the non pancake items (Smokehouse Combo) I’d say they are the reason why IHOP’s existence is justified.
The scrambled eggs were whipped with buttermilk , making them the fluffiest ever mankind has ever seen—enough to make it an 80s icon. If the pancakes were this indulgent, then I would really welcome obesity as a life partner.
The Chicken Fajita omelette was a mega Mexican protein portion, complete with salsa and whipped cream enough to justify its 1,000 calories! Just mambo off the saturate fat, and we’re good to go!
The hash brown appeared like messy strips of greasy pik nik but were seamlessly cooked. Too bad IHOP had no mustard (it’s just me but you would love it with the usual catsup). The eggs and has brown went perfectly to the tune of an awesome breakfast. If only the pancakes sang the same song—perhaps they were tuned to fit a requiem—then this would’ve been one heck of big breakfast for dinner which I have always dreamed of.
However the pancakes, the stuff of which my dreams are made of, were just a dry disaster. And now there’s one less comfort food in my list and the new theme of my nocturnal paranoia.
Oh IHOP, keep on clucking—I’ll be back for those! And if you can’t find help from someone named Jemima, try someone close.. Jenina (cough, cough.. me). Promise to work beside a fire extinguisher.
*An aftermath of the dryness disaster caused a chain reaction all the way to Emperador Stadium at McKinley Hill. Apparently it was not enough to ruin my digestion, my team got creamed as well. Ah well. I HOPe we learn from that flourry of mistakes.