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To be or to Chelsea

serendra restaurant

Having a collection analogous terms, “Chelsea” can spur quite a debacle in our household.

Imagine the common name, like say, Chelsea Clinton or Chelsea Dagger. Then here comes the futbol fanatic saying he adores Manchester United and that Chelsea FC is bleh. All right, understandable.  Not to be forgotten, we next get a smothering list of London and NY related places, which are more than a handful.

Oh, the Chelseas of Webster! No wonder Wikipedia can’t get enough of you!

lazy black cat review restaurant

But really now, being a food blogger in Manila, when I say Chelsea, it can only mean one thing: Chelsea Market & Café, at Serendra, Bonifacio High Street (there’s another at Podium). Sure, it’s a copycat version of the “real” Chelsea (NY) but what can I do, I live in the Pacific so I have to make do with what I can access logistically.

To be honest, I did not want 2013 to end without having visited Chelsea Market & Café. What a silly wish, you might wonder, but for a northern dweller like myself, trips to BGC can be quite arduous. Luckily I did get my wish –  that was 3 days before the New Year –  one cloudy Saturday (or the last for 2013), we finally hopped in our car and decided that yes, Chelsea it is!

jenina gonzales blog food

I did make a reservation 2 days before, but the bookkeeper seemed to be lost in his own battle with his body piercings, so that reservation was made in vain (and his chunky planner may have been a spells book in disguise, I did not bother to inspect). Good thing we were quite early and managed so secure a couch adjacent to the IKEA wall. If IKEA were to partner with a restaurant, this would be it.

Bonifacio Highstreet restaurant cafe

Before orders were made and inquiries tossed around, let me tell you that the place already screamed of slow service. It was in the air—oh, and my nefarious instincts are rarely wrong! Slacking pace—New Yorkers would have a riot on this objectionable trait!

When the order taker finally came to mind—perhaps perked up a bit with a sip of Red Bull—our orders came crashing in. The hunger we kept to ourselves suddenly materialized and out came words like pizza, confit, warm water, cheese, red wine, and no, make it 5 cheese! It was a mess of a notepad.

appetizer chelsea market cafe

To top off the chaos, my auntie decided to twist things a bit more—had the pasta sauce changed from pesto (Oven-Roasted Seafood and Tomato Cream Pesto) to Marinara. It was an entirely new dish—and the chef permitted this common abomination we like to call Seafood in the Red. Really now, it was just a bit of Ragu mixed with seafood and voila, customer service at its finest! As for gastronomic satisfaction, I leave that to the lucky diner—not me!

appetizer chelsea serendra

For starters we had a wee serving of the Warm Gorgonzola Dip with Vegetable Sticks and Potato Wedges. I am not kidding when I say “wee” since each vegetable type must equal 4 servings and not a sliver more, except for the caper—but who likes capers? The potato wedges came in a bit of abundance in proportion, so we thank the chef for this oily bounty. The gorgonzola dip was warm and creamy with this hearth flavor, but with a very small amount of vegetables for dipping, all that good cheese was left to waste.

salad chelsea fort

The Roasted Garlic Portobello Mushroom Confit came in a surprise platter because what landed on our table was a nest of arugula—lovely! Underneath the rocket forest came the sweet and succulent Portobello which made hearts out of our eyeballs for a nanosecond. With pesto spritzes, shaved cheese and cherry tomatoes, this made the gorgonzola dish hide in the shame of its scarcity.

pizza pasta fort restaurant

The Pizzas (All Meat and Five Cheese) came in thin crust variety and were consistently topped with arugula. Now I know whose pantry to raid when the arugula stocks in groceries are depleted, which is like, always.

vegetarian pizza bonifacio fort

The Five Cheese Pizza has that star beside its name in the menu, so I figured it should be the better pizza—not! Well, it tasted so-so and hmmmm-kay—for a Chelsea dish. It wasn’t that spectacular and was served not-so-piping-hot. Even the wee slices of apples alongside the arugula could not make a difference—since they were miniscule to begin with. Had I known it would be a mediocre cheese dish, I might have gone for that Greek Panko salad instead. At least the cheese on that one is more, apparent.

j.anne gonzales blog food

When the Southern Style Cornflake and Oatmeal Crusted Fried Chicken came, it looked like something that came from grandma’s kitchen. Still with arugula and potato wedges, the breading is a meal on its own—cracking sweet and oaty! A good pairing with the sickly pizza.

steak salad fort restaurant

Just a photo of the Grilled Roasted U.S. Rib Eye Steak, though nothing can be said about it. If you press for information, call my Ossan, but I really, really doubt if he can give any helpful input. Best he could say is: It did not go with red wine. Because really, it did not go with red wine. I warned you.

fort bonifacio restaurant menu

Despite a heavily starchy lunch, we still went for dessert. A trip to the Fort necessitates the hoarding of more calories, to bring us home safely, and with the chiller so close to our table, EQs are lost as hunger surges once again.

best cheesecake manila

100% mine, the New York Chocolate Chip Brown Cookie Dough Cheesecake. Longest name in the bunch with perhaps a proportionate amount of saturated fat. With cheesecake interspersed with cookies and more cookie dough in the base, it was cheesecake heaven until I finished half the slice. The other half called for tea and a kilometer of walking. Still, I persisted and finished the damn slice. Pretty damn good—but I doubt if I can take on this challenge again!

ice cream gelato dessert bonifacio

The others had the Super Ice Cream Sundae, Nocciola Gelato and that  Four Layer Toblerone Torte.

dessert serendra fort

The Ice Cream Sundae is Super because of the obvious add-ons, most of which seemed to be cream. If you’re a fan of cream and just 2 scoops of gelato, you will delight in this. If you hate cream like me, get a cake.

cake dessert chelsea

The Four Layer Toblerone Torte has repetitive layers of that cake/merengue and crème filling. The novelty is in the height and not the assortment of the layers, if you’re thinking Mango Bravo. If you like uber sweet and Toblerone, go for it. Otherwise, check the menu for something that summons your dark gluttonous self.

lazy black cat review food

Our local Chelsea experience can be summed up as a calorific, overpriced slacker’s meal. The food was on the mediocre side and did not exactly fire stars from my eyes. Whilst we know the ingredients were of the supreme and fresh kind (well I do hope so), the overall package is not worth waiting for again.

So if you’re going to summon New York, that hurry-that-pace-and-move-in-a-flurry because that’s how they are in we-hate-waiting East Coast—then our local Chelsea will freeze you in time and you better pop in a microwave dish instead.

food trip manila

But since I’m in the New Year positive chakra forgiving mood: As for Chelsea Market & Café, you’re almost there; buy a watch with a timer and get back to me once you remember to serve the Toblerone Torte. (Yup they forgot about it.)

Fair enough, yow.

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No-no to Momo Cafe!

blog quezon city restaurant

I always referred to “Momo” as “GF landmark of Eastwood Mall”. Quite right. Which makes sense that on my last day in our Eastwood office, Momo Cafe would be the venue of my gastronomic finale.

Jumping to the end of this experience, I have come to the conclusion that the place ought to have been named No-no and that if I were to be asked for a landmark for Eastwood Mall it would be MAC and My Thai. Nono? Oh no.

quezon city eastwood mall restaurant

Firstly the Momo Gourmet Salad was supposed to be a leviathan serving enough to feed the hungry poor. I was both hungry and poor but did not feel an ounce of gourmet satisfaction from this grieving little array. Was it the overly sweet raspberry vinaigrette, the seeming lack of toppings or that sad excuse for a salad? For its price, it was a shameful forest of greens with a minority in everything good and delicious! Big serving—oh no! More of “stay hungry, you little tramp!” No gourmet for you!!

Momo Cafe Eastwood review

I just had no choice but to order the San Francisco Style Seafood Pesto Cream Linguine, which the server gave a disclaimer: Wala po itong pesto. Red sauce ito. “There’s no pesto here. This is red sauce.”

Hunger made me say yes, but after nearly one hour of waiting, I began dreaming of red. Apparently, Mr.-Pesto-is-Red-Sauce went for a break and never ordered my order, leaving me in the red. What an awful experience for an equally awful plate of pasta. Actually it was mediocre—the noodles were soggy and there was no hint of basil or anything worth writing about. The sauce was something that can be cooked in 5 minutes or less, so my 50-minute wait, sans any form of consolation or apology, makes me scream, “No-no to Momo!

Anger aside, the meal was less than mediocre and why people line up for this place will forever strike me as odd.

Boy am I glad to leave Eastwood, especially with a Momo closing episode. It’s like Eastwood just kicked me out, and well and good—because with forgetful servers who don’t have a care in the world, I don’t care about coming back as well. Hell no! Oh no. Just go.

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Rue is Me! (Rue Bourbon)

I give myself a huge DUH on the forehead. Not an “L” but a duh. The Homer “Doooh!” could do too. As the name suggests Rue Bourbon is that place where you go Friday night for drinks, finger food and more drinks. It is not, I repeat, NOT, a place you expect to get your salad fill. What part of Rue Bourbon suggests veggie shots? Nada.

eastwood restaurant

Still, the name Rue was so catchy—the word synonymous to regret and lament—a visit was necessitated. Forget that the second word with twice as more syllables (and characters) happens to be Bourbon.

ancho ranch salad eastwood

With the “green” selection close to nil, there was no choice but to idiotically order the Ancho Ranch Salad with Buffalo Fried Shrimp. Idiotically, because the salad was sprinkled with bacon, I had to fish out the leaves at the bottom of the pack, which was not that many. The serving was small for its price, and despite this burgeoning of shrimp at the top, credit must be given to the Cajun batter—thick, crisp and zesty. It is the flavor that you know is so tangy, it must be filled with ingredients you would rather not inquire about. No wonder this place is a drinking haven.

eastwood lazy black cat

The Bayou, properly named, was a marchland of grease and batter. To those who do not know me, you might as well not date me and order the Bayou at the same time, because will have to learn the hard way how annoyingly obsessive I could get with the batter. The batter, in this case, makes up 50% of everything; we ended up filling a bowl with fried batter from the calamari, fish, shrimp and 4 giant onion rings. The Bayou may be a savory seafood serving, but it is also a breaded bayou of grease. Eat with caution, or then again, drown with drinks!

Being sober 100% of the time, I spied the grease and small servings of the food groups that matter in our biological system being served all over the place. But I can’t blame Rue, after all, health food isn’t in its menu and everyone seems to know that. Well I do too now.

Before getting  kicked out for leaving batter all over the place, a graceful exit was the only way to save face, and yes, stretch! With proper company and drinks, Rue Bourbon will certainly be the tee-totaler’s place of preference.

As for those seeking the greens, our quest continues.

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California Salad Kitchen

Sometime I wonder if I could just stick to being a salad blogger, you know, hop in the green bandwagon and wave off that organic finger while I’m at it.

Imagine, my order would usually end at page 1 of the menu, right next to appetizers. I could spend the rest of my idle time, tapping my fingers in disdain as my companions decide on poultry or fish, what siding to go with that or if it ought to be whole wheat or flour. Make up your mind, someone’s hungry!

cpk trinoma

At California Pizza Kitchen (CPK) which I would like to rename CS (salad) K since I partook in no form of pizza during my last visit, hence leaving me with guilt should I use the word pizza. Pizza? Pizza!

Salad chosen was the Original Bbq Chicken Chopped Salad because Mexican was my craving, and the salad’s smorgasbord of toppings ought to emulate any form of fiery fiesta flavor! Well fiery is a bit of an overstatement, but the smorgasbord sums it up: jack cheese, tortilla strips, chicken, tomatoes, green onions, black beans, cilantro, corn, etc.

The presentation was so coherently managed, I ended up eating black beans and corn – which I normally hate ingesting in real life. The overall dressing is ranch, but the chicken is doused with a barbecue sauce so when you mix the entire batch, you get a sweet-herb-creamy dressing that guarantees fullness that warrants no need for any form of dessert, calorie and waistline-wise.

CPK trinoma salad chicken

Overall, the salad’s effort at presenting a Mexican masterpiece fares better than other local versions, since it partially captures the “original” tangy chicken flavor and the cilantro effect is amazing. Chopped and ready-to-eat, it makes solo eating quite fun and effortless.

For not craving any more pizza, mozzarella sticks or pasta, other than this festive salad, I’d say this dish is quite the success in the salad-only pursuit. Price-wise, it may be a bit steep, but this can be addressed by some beggar jobs on the side.

All for salad. You know I’d do anything just for the greens.

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All You Can 101

Robinson's magnolia

For this selfish urge to finally set foot in Robinson’s Magnolia, I wantonly booked a table at Buffet 101—not the other way around which is quite contrary to my hungry nature.

Buffet 101 quezon city

Since I was beginning to lag behind the social sphere of geographical knowledge, this necessitated a visit to that much talked about mall. It was time to finally get a view of the high ceiling, the al fresco lounge and the once retro Magnolia ice cream parlor. And of course, finally dine at Buffet 101.

buffet 101 j.anne gonzales blog

They say Buffet 101 could be a doppelganger for Vikings, with its massive spread of internationally based cuisine. But let me quip that it fares more as a lesser sibling that focuses on select continents, with nothing exotic such as caviar, Indian or Mediterranean delights. Instead, Buffet 101’s prime selections hail from the Asian district, with Chinese cuisine topping the must-eat list while Japanese having the second most popular aisle.

Buffet 101 Balsamic-Olive Salad with Kani on the side

Balsamic-Olive Salad with Kani on the side

The salad bar boasts of about 5 or 6 dressings (the common kind so I refuse to spend time here) that did not warrant a second take. A keen eye brought into sight a balsamic vinegar bottle at the side—and with its partner olive oil—finally a decent salad came into a reality. No cheese platters or parmesan to liven up my plate, so it was on to the sushi-sashimi boat.

Nori all you can!

Nori all you can!

The sashimi was all right, the lemon a bit on the hard size. Excited with the soba noodles I packed my bowl with nori strips and soup, which sadly, was a tad too sweet for my diabetic sense of taste.

east meets more west

east meets more west

 

Nihao mantao!

Nihao mantao!

While Chinatown was supposed to be the hotspot for dimsum, fried rice, crabs and Hainanese chicken, I let the boys take over this town. The fried noodles looked awesome, but the taste inspired no awe. The usual vegetables were of the standard variety and the sweet and sour pork boasted of more fat than meat (unless that’s how it is for carnivores).

Next destination: China!

Next destination: China!

In Crustaceans we Trust

In Crustaceans we Trust

The crabs and butter-oat shrimps were a splendid tag team, I broke my rule of not eating with my fingers. Of course a cracker was available but still, getting down, orange and dirty was the only way to claw into those crabs. They have a bathroom and liquid soap, in case you’re wondering about hygiene and grease.

Itadakimasu!

Itadakimasu!

I barely visited the Japanese and Filipino cuisine, but I did see local favorites bangus and crispy pata. The tempura was okay but I enjoyed the chicken teppanyaki, which I scooped by accident. Soft and sweet, it fares much better than the usual Saisaki flavor.

Got Steak? Yes they do!

Got Steak? Yes they do!

A platter of steak found itself on our table—the necessary sustenance for the carnivores. Without it we cannot go home!

 Don't mind if I pass up the Pasta

Don’t mind if I pass up the Pasta

The American – Italian section was a junk food fest with fries, onion rings and other fried wonders. The American fish fillet was 10x saltier than its Thai counterpart—yes, I had to compare—and so the point goes to the Asian catch! Here, I found my serving of vegetables with the mozzarella topped broccoli and cauliflower—not the healthiest portion but all that yellow was just alluring.

The stuffed tomatoes were oddly addictive, while the herb cream pasta could be described as “not a penne more.”

Eating the American Dream

Eating the American Dream

make pizza, not war

make pizza, not war

The pizzas had their own corner—Italian (meat) and Thai Seafood. I must have gorged on 6 slices of that seafood pizza. Mediocre on a very thick crust (read: carbs) it wasn’t the flavor that got me hooked, logistically speaking, sitting beside the pizza made proximity the pretext for this sudden gluttony.

Where Kids and ADD-ults Come to Play

Where Kids and ADD-ults Come to Play

The dessert zone was rather diverse with a crepe station, ice cream corner, frozen yogurt, chiller for cakes, candies, fruits and more little pastries and cakes.

beats the tooth fairy anytime

beats the tooth fairy anytime

Not bad, for a crepe-y dish

Not bad, for a crepe-y dish

Many may skip the cheesecakes, mini cakes, mousse and pastries sacredly kept in the chiller—detached from the public and require the waitress’ sanitation procedures before proper serving. By the supreme authority of the chiller lady, permission is required before proper serving.  These cakes must be made of gold; on the contrary, the cookies are exposed, so dig away.

Unfortunately the chocolate chip cookie I dug was a hunky chunk that was neither inspiring nor chewy so I don’t suppose anyone will be stealing from that cookie jar.

Buffet 101 Not all good things come is small packages

The cheesecakes were fancy sounding but were more of cakes than an actual cheesecake, with sponge cake making up a faux graham crust.

The candy corner was a hub for children with ADHD and with impatient hands abound, picking on gummy candies and that gummy egg, we wonder when candy cholera will strike next.

 Raising the brown flag for the Anti-dentist Crusade

Raising the brown flag for the Anti-dentist Crusade

The brownie was moist at the very least which made that chocolate lava cake pale in comparison in terms of sweet succulence. I spotted “revel bar” amongst the labels but just found what seemed to be a pale looking slice of cake—no oats, no revelry at all.

 

Strategically placed above sea level, the yogurt machine was like divine intervention to ward off those crazy hyper children. They already have the candies and chocolate fountain as their ADD playground, so they ought to leave the frozen yogurt to the ADD-ults. The frozen yogurt was fine—on the light side—which made me rejoice for foregoing the crepe and ice cream.

Fruits are not really worth reviewing but credits to Buffet 101 for serving grapes. My dad must have gotten giddy after enjoying loads of this fruit, he thought he was Zeus in his past life. Unfortunately, the cheese went AWOL. Now where did I leave my lightning bolt?

 Swirly bliss

Swirly bliss

Buffet 101 More fruits for the gods Buffet 101 fruits

Drinks are unlimited as well, and since I’m more of a water girl there isn’t much to say. Juice. Soda. Iced tea. Beer. Shakes. I tried the espresso machine since being the daughter of Zeus, this mechanism does not exist in our household. I expected bitter, but this was bland. Still, cool. I mean, hot!

Buffet 101 is perhaps a jack-of-all trades in the world of buffet and you can probably see where I’m going—the master of none. Save for the espresso machine—which wasn’t even a dish—there was nothing too memorable or much of a sterling catch that would make me dream about it in the days to come. It’s just okay, all right, the average joe.

However I give it points for trying to outdo Vikings. In this attempt, it surely beat Sambokojin and Dad’s. So you’re almost there, just bring out the curry and cheese!

 BUffet 101 rob magnolia

 

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War Hero: Army Navy Burger + Burrito

Army Navy sounds more like that burger place where greasy meats make up most of the menu, if not all of it. I’d imagined a mess hall, tin plates and an abundance of grit—all of which do not make it to my dining requirements.

Good thing the word “burrito” bungeed out of nowhere and finally, finally, Army Navy began to sound like victory, or booty, since we’re getting thematic. Soldier or not, it doesn’t matter whether you can recite Alpha to Zulu in one breath, the “barracks” welcomes anyone who pleasures to dine at the premises, from MacArthur to Captain Hook.

With interestingly named food items like Freedom Fries and Querida Mia, don’t feel idiotic if you find yourself gawking at the menu for the first time. No one will penalize you with push-ups for taking the time, but if you do, don’t expect the person next in line to be a Jolly Jack. And do make sure he isn’t armed with anything that starts with a capital M.

Reading the menu can be quite an entertaining pursuit with its ingeniously crafted offerings. Gathering intel on the food was easy, but deciding what to order was difficult, as my shipwrecked alter ego suddenly kicked in and I found myself wanting to have a quesadilla, quesadilla frito and soft taco for dinner. Slow down, soldier, the pocket has limits.

Not that I was headed to a Death March or any march for that matter, but my wallet just waved the white flag, so better sensibility led me to a decently quantified and well budgeted meal. I will reserve the splurge once I’ve found a war greater than Pearl Harbor or the CJ Case, but until then, it’s 1 quesadilla or the mission is aborted.

Dining in the Dark: Chicken Quesadilla

While there’s steak and cheese, of course I ended up with the Chicken Quesadilla paired with Tortilla chips and cheese dip. No combos or meals here, the three items were separately ordered and priced, and there, I have established my kill zone. Maybe it was the Tagaytay* weather, but I found the chips lacking in that crisp factor, which led me to dunk them all in the cheese dip. That dip had the viscosity 10x of the regular cheese dip (or gravy) and with the satisfactory hint of jalapeno, made my little splurge all worth it. The dip seemed to go well with the quesadilla too, seeing that its accompanying salsa and sour cream came in wee amounts that only Oliver Twist would find acceptable.

All I can remember about the Chicken Quesadilla was that it had chicken, cheese and onions, and in the dark, these were all that mattered. The flavor was light yet near Mexican festive, and the chips certainly brought more entertainment in my otherwise texture-free meal. Somewhere towards the mid-section though it got a bit too greasy, like diner-mess hall greasy, which really made quite a mess of my meal. This was one of those instances that I felt glad to be eating in the dark, but still, being the chronic OC, it’s best to ask for utensils the next time around. I suppose boodle fight isn’t really my “thang.”

 The Freedom Fries were crisp and Cajun inspired, and not the chunky wedges that the lazy chef or KFC would serve. Why “freedom”, I have not figured out, but those little strips are certainly not free from oil, fat and flavor—which should bring a smile to a military brat, or any brat for that matter. The onion rings (Sorry no photo) came in a bit of a sad serving; there were perhaps less than 10 rings per order, equivalent to  ¼ of an onion and one heck of a teary-eyed chef.

The Dinner Platoon

The Starving Sailor is sure to end anyone’s path to hunger with its sourdough bread charged with chicken and caramelized onions. Anyone hungry is sure to drop his anchor at the sight of this leviathan serving. The bread was fresh and chewy and was superb with the chicken with caramelized onions.  Again, the grease fest manifested itself at the expense of OC fingers. Still the onions made up for the flavor and thank God what lacked in the onion rings rained all over this magnificent sub.

In terms of flavor and freshness, there’s nothing AWOL in Army Navy. If any, it’s one heck of a booyah place for the hungry, shipwrecked and stranded in traffic. What’s fantastic is that it doesn’t limit its fares to the usual burgers and American cuisine, as it goes all the way and offers Mexican loot for those looking for that spicy punch.

I give 21 Gun Salutes to Army Navy, and remember, this information isn’t classified.

At ease, soldier.

* We dined at the Tagaytay Branch, which is beside Yellow Cab along the highway. This particular branch offers an outdoor experience with benches and trees, the works—which explains the dark, the cold weather and the fresh air. In case you’re wondering, I was not eating in the dark and neither is it my strange habit to eat in the dark. That’s just plain, weird.

 

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Take a Chill Pill: Chili’s Bar and Grill

If you have not heard of Chili’s and its notoriously in-demand Bottomless Tostada Chips, then you have no business living, breathing and eating in Manila. The only way to battle the local buffets is to dine at Chili’s, gorge on an unlimited refill of chips and order a last batch, untainted and ready to-go. Such gluttonous yet hearty thoughtfulness can only be the basis of the common parental practice, the Pinoy pasalubong.

Now, if the chips remain crisp or if they survive long car rides home are questions only those gifted with the Filipino spirit of giving can answer and sad to say, will remain a mystery for this selfish cat.

Bottomless Tostada Chips

The bottomless chips isn’t the only draw to this restaurant sensational servings, as its Manila locations (Tomas Morato, Greenhills and Greenbelt) are conveniently scattered in neighborhoods with perfectly decent malls.

Best memories go to the Fajitas (Citrus Fire Chicken and Shrimp)  that are  worth every sizzle and pico de gallo, and only Ristras can come close to matching up with this Mexican feast. The Cajun Chicken Pasta is worth another mention, as it can attack post work hunger while complementing every salsa-laden bite of tostada chips.

Boneless Buffalo Chicken Salad

The Boneless Buffalo Chicken Salad has become a dieter’s (or trying to diet) meal steal, as it serves up the greens alongside tasty ranch dressing and bleu cheese crumbles. The salad and tostada chips are enough to create a hearty meal, and I discourage anyone for going for more carbs as this tasteful combo is enough to last you for the day.

Chicken Ranch Sandwich

Old Timer Burger

Bacon Burger

Not to be ignored, the sandwiches are leviathan in size and flavor: Chicken Ranch on wheat bread, Old-Timer and Bacon Burger. With fries on the side, these massive burgers can be a challenge to finish. I watched my brother swallow a mouthful of beef in disdain as he endeavored to finish every morsel, including the fries, and finish he did. Good boy. Now, to the nearest comfort room!

Even when dining out, the stress is just out there: the all-you-can-eat lines on the verge of food war, lousy servings at local restaurants and tasteless meals that try to pass off as gourmet.

What I hate the most are dressed up salad names that end up just being iceberg lettuce and mayo. The nerve! All the frenzy can just make you lose your appetite, and so I find solace in Chili’s where people can just, you know, chill.

And let those hyper waiter do all the stressing. After all, it is my theory that they are injected with Red Bull before every shift. Go figure.

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